By Austin80s
[Updated for 2012]
Yo ho holy ones, Talk Like A Pirate Day (TLAPD) is September 19. Is your church ready? I suspect not, so let Cap’n Mark show you how to celebrate in 10 easy steps that even you landlubbers can follow.
- Say an Aaarrr Father and Ahoy Mary.
- Read Paul’s Letter to the Caribbeans.
- When in doubt, say “Ahoy there, me sacred hearties!”
- Stay far, far away from Pontius Pirate.
- “And with yer spirit” is the proper response.
- Study “St. Peter’s Guide to Walking on Water: Surviving the Plank Walk in Three Easy Steps.”
- Suffer no fools who offer pieces of the “true skull & crossbones”…
- Read the Good Book-aneer.
- Ponderrrr the lives of Saint Godric of Finchale and St. Olaf, the pirate saints (in their younger days).
- Keep this straight: To err is human, to aaarrr is pirate.
- Cannon-ize yer enemies.
- Remember always that ours is an awesome grog.
Anything to add to this treasure map? Scrawl a comment below.
Tip o’the feathered buccaneer hat to lasses Elizabeth Alves, Susan Reyburn, Mark Stoffel, Laura Olivier and Phil Weslow for helping with this post.
2010 Update: Blimey, somehow I missed this great Pirate’s Act of Contrition from Ironic Catholic. You can see all of her other Catholic Talk Like a Pirate Day posts.
Aye, me God, I am heart’ly sorry fur havin’ offended ye,
and I detest me sins–
b’cos I fear losin’ me Heaven,
an’ don’t want to be marooned in Hell–
but most of all they offend ye, me God,
Ye who are a right fine God,
and deservin’ of all the doubloons I could give ye and then more.
Aye, so I smartly resolve,
wit’ the help of your grace,
to heave to my sins,
to keelhaul my soul,
an’ to make right me scurvy life.
Amen.
Mark Alves+
Suffer no fools who offer pieces of the “true skull & crossbones”…
Good one! I was trying to come up with a number seven so I could add something about the seven seas & sacraments to the intro. Should’ve checked with you first!
That’s funny. I would have never thought about a TLAPD / church crossover. Does TLAPD have a patron saint? If not we should look for one!
There has to be a pirate convert we can nominate.
Phil, excellent idea! I’ll research that one to see if we get some viral support for this saint of Talk Like a Pirate Day. Brings new meaning to the cannon-ization process.
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[...] Twitter version)? It’s also International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Celebrate with this buried treasure from ChurchMojo.com we arrrrgh diggin’ up for this here special [...]