[Updated for 2012]
Yo ho holy ones, Talk Like A Pirate Day (TLAPD) is September 19. Is your church ready? I suspect not, so let Cap’n Mark show you how to celebrate in 10 easy steps that even you landlubbers can follow.
- Say an Aaarrr Father and Ahoy Mary.
- Read Paul’s Letter to the Caribbeans.
- When in doubt, say “Ahoy there, me sacred hearties!”
- Stay far, far away from Pontius Pirate.
- “And with yer spirit” is the proper response.
- Study “St. Peter’s Guide to Walking on Water: Surviving the Plank Walk in Three Easy Steps.”
- Suffer no fools who offer pieces of the “true skull & crossbones”…
- Read the Good Book-aneer.
- Ponderrrr the lives of Saint Godric of Finchale and St. Olaf, the pirate saints (in their younger days).
- Keep this straight: To err is human, to aaarrr is pirate.
- Cannon-ize yer enemies.
- Remember always that ours is an awesome grog.
Anything to add to this treasure map? Scrawl a comment below.
Tip o’the feathered buccaneer hat to lasses Elizabeth Alves, Susan Reyburn, Mark Stoffel, Laura Olivier and Phil Weslow for helping with this post.